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Thank you zombie boyfriends. So I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming, ‘Do you wanna make out?’ And I make out with it. Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great. This is such a snore-gasm. Do you think horses get…

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Russian Steppe

Dad, you’re the best pimp a girl could ever have. He did? That’s the sleaziest, sneakiest, most romantic thing anyone’s ever done to me. I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. I’m not spooked. What’s the next thing after spooked? I’m that. Do you think horses get songs stuck in…

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